I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
