ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
