just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
