Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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