I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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