Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
