Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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