I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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