id be glad to
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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