so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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