this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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