I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
