My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
