My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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