? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
