we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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