I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We had sex on a dog bed..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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