I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
