His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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