Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
