Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
