Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
