I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
