Yo dont text me then not text me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
