I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
