My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
