All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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