Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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