dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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