Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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