It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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