This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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