***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
