its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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