seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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