I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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