Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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