I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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