So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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Boobs speak an international language.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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