I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
