ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize