went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
