This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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