Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
