Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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