Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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