he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
