Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
