A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Randomize
