these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
