ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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