i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
