Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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