he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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