I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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