ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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