it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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