why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
