This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
