Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
