my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
